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Captain Gilbert fails 5 weapon qualifications?

February 2, 2015


Emails are coming in from armed services members, claiming that Captain Gilbert has failed as many as 5 qualifications and has had his weapon taken by administrators? If this rumor is true, what is Warden Hall going to do? Several armed deputies have been removed from their positions due to failure to qualify. This could be a fitting end to Gilbert, as he went from Wakenhut security officer to DCSO CAPTAIN. Remember, we told you several months ago that Gilbert was a FAILURE 🙂


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  1. Cobra Commander permalink

    Are we gonna see Donald Dixon on here? Word is that Satterlee has already sent emails trying to get his spot lol. The guy isn’t even gone yet and Satterlee is already climbing over him SMH.

  2. John Forde permalink

    Hello ladies and gentleman of Firedaronhall. This is Chef Deputy John ‘coward’ Forde. I realize now that I made a mistake in hiring Gilbert. Gilbert was a lowly security guard making 10$ an hour (he only makes 12$ now) and I promoted him straight into the DCSO as a Captain. I was in the military, but I sat behind a desk playing with my balls all day, I never once saw action or combat. You see, my who is shattered glass, I wet my bed, suck my thumb and I’ve never been in a fight in my life. I made it to this position with smoke and mirrors. I am like the wizard on the wizard of oz. it all starts with my death grip handshake, often my shoulder hurts so bad at night from putting every ounce of energy into my death grip. Well, back to Gilbert, he played on my faults and told me he was a combat vet, drove a bad ass mustang with a zebra sun visor, I wanted to be every story he fed me. But, it turns out everything Gilbert told me was a lie. We are a lot of alike, we are both frauds, fakes, cowards. Gilbert cannot even shoot a handgun, neither can I. I’ve been so upset lately that I’ve lost so much weight from shitting my guts out every day from nervousness. I am so sorry that I let everyone down. My daughter turned Into a whore and I cheated on my wife with Jone Framgos and Sheela Morgan. I hate myself.

  3. Wackenhut Officer To DCSO Captain permalink

    Of all the experienced and hardworking officers who work the floors day in and day out this Wackenhut security officer was chosen as DCSO captain. Another one of administrations epic failures and the list keeps growing.

  4. Cobra Commander permalink

    Let me guess, Gilbert is blaming his inability to shoot on his missing finger due to a meat carving incident he sustained working at Kroger. Sorry john Ford but your hiring of Gilbert was stupid as damn hell.

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